Usually when I’m about to write a review, I think of an opening, present (at least) one interesting angle, and make sure my opinions are laid out in decipherable form.

But when it comes to any movie with that employs the phrase “Friday the 13th,” my objectivity sort of flies out the window like so many rabid crows. On one hand (the hand with taste, education, and intelligence) I can plainly see that, for the most part, the Friday the 13th flicks are pretty bad movies. They just are. When a franchise is moving on full-bore assembly-line mode, quality often gets swept into the dumpster and we’re left queueing up for the same dang sequel every 14 months. On the other hand, I’d be a big, fat liar if I didn’t admit my younger days were spent knee-deep in Crystal Lake lore. Your grandfather probably talked about the “great old serials” of Buck Rogers and such … my generation looks back on the exploits of Jason Voorhees with similar fondness. A little twisted, sure, but also pretty harmless. More

George Mihalka’s 1981 Canadian slasher movie My Bloody Valentine is sort of a rarity among similar flicks of the era for a few reasons: Instead of stupid teenagers, the movie is populated with (fairly stupid) grown-ups; it aims to add a small air of mystery-style “whodunnit?” to a generally standard “slasher” premise; and (weirdly enough), it never warranted any sort of sequels. For these reasons, plus the fact that it’s actually a little creepy and often quite nasty, the old-school horror fans have held a small place in their heart for this odd little Halloween knock-off. More

The annals of “killer kids” genre cinema is a long and colorful one indeed. Of course we have classics like The Bad Seed (1956), Village of the Damned (1960), and The Omen (1976), but the extra-caffeinated horror geeks will bring up solid little titles like It’s Alive (1974), Devil Times Five (1975), Who Can Kill a Child? (1976), The Children (1980). Children of the Corn (1984), Pet Sematary (1989). And there’s also The Other (1972), The Brood (1979), The Pit (1981),The Good Son (1993), The Plague (2006), Wicked Little Things (2008), and the French import Them (2006) to consider, so let’s just say we’re looking at a sub-genre that’s certainly earned a spot in the horror hall of fame. More

Once again I find myself in a love-hate relationship with the brothers Weinstein. Love because someone at their company clearly has good taste in imported horror cinema, plus the brothers actually do give a lot of cool flicks a chance to find an audience … eventually. That’s where the “hate” part comes in. I’m fully convinced that the Weinsteins snag these flicks through a fair contract and the promise of a “theatrical release” (something the smaller genre distributors can’t offer), but when the time comes to offer these flicks on a national, cinematic plate — the brothers balk, shuttle some prints off to a minimal amount of theaters, and wait for the next fiscal quarter to release the DVD. They did it with Rogue (and some other non-horror titles) and now they’re doing it to a very fine UK thriller called Eden Lake. Good luck trying to catch the film during its nine-theater release, but the DVD should be out in just a few months. More

The good news is that Alex Aja’s Mirrors is a perfectly watchable horror-thriller that’s well-shot, well-scored, and backed by an excellent lead performance by Kiefer Sutherland. The bad news is that, despite the relative quality of this movie, we’re dealing with a simple case of cinematic leftovers. Like most horror flicks these days, Mirrors is based on somebody else’s film. In this case we’re dealing with a remake of the 2003 Korean thriller Into the Mirror. So if you’re a hardcore horror fan who bothered to track down ALL of the recent Asian-to-American remakes, then you’ve already experienced The Ring, The Ring 2, The Grudge, The Grudge 2, Dark Water, The Eye, Pulse, Shutter, One Missed Call … which means that a whole lot of Mirrors will feel pretty familiar to you. But just as its unfair to bash Stairway to Heaven for being overplayed, it’s tough to criticize Mirrors for its familiar tappings — mainly because it’s quite a bit better than most of the movies I just mentioned. More

If Steven Spielberg were just a little bit edgier, a little bit darker, and a little more (ok, I’ll say it) colorful, his movies would look a lot like those of Guillermo Del Toro. That’s not to knock Steven Spielberg (at all), nor is it meant as a straight comparison. But there were times during films like The Devil’s Backbone, Hellboy, and Pan’s Labyrinth that the director felt like the wilder, more mischievous little brother to Master Spielberg. I’m basically trying to pay Del Toro a very large compliment by saying simply this: He’s as a good a storyteller as Spielberg, but his sensibilities are a lot … creepier. In the most playful and amusing way, but definitely creepy. More

In the beginning, there was Ringu, Ju-On, and Gin Gwai. And Kairo, Chakushin Ari, and Honogurai Mizu No Soko Kara. And they were good. Well, good enough, anyway, although I’m probably committing horror-geek heresy by admitting that I wasn’t all that dazzled by the non-stop Asian genre flicks that I kept seeing at every freakin’ film festival. Professionally-crafted, intermittently creepy, and just novel enough to translate well overseas, these movies made a good deal of cash, even if they were more than a little overrated. (And not one of ‘em is freakier than Oodishon (Audition) or Batoru Rowiaaru (Battle Royale) — so why haven’t those two been remade yet?) More

Way back in September of 2006 I reviewed the rather impressive horror film called All the Boys Love Mandy Lane. It has never opened in America. Until this month, that is! Radius/TWC has finally rescued this darkly amusing little indie from financial nightmare limbo (it’s a long and boring story, believe me) and you can finally see it for yourself. With the new release in mind, I went back and spruced up my ancient review for you FEARnet freaks: More